Nail in Coffin

We went to Linate Airport directly from the meeting. I immediately started calls to sign up the right people for the job and Jay called her girlfriend/ex/whatever to share the good news.
“I’m happy for you but what does that has to do with me?” Jay’s girlfriend never failed in disappointing you.
”What do you mean by that?” Jay sounded irritated
”This only means that you’re going to work more and I will end up spending more time alone that I’m already am!”
Later on Jay told me that that was the nail in the coffin. She couldn’t do it anymore. Being with someone that was so selfish and that could never be happy for someone else. After all, Jay was paying for everything so who was she to complain?

So here we are. Jay is back on my sofa and I’m calling in some people tomorrow to get the bitch’s stuff out of the apartment and change the locks. Tomorrow we’re going out to celebrate.. and I have a special treat planned for my dear Jay..

Just Cavalli

One great thing with SAS is that they carry Mr and Mrs T Bloody Mary mix that is soooo much better than that tomato juice garbage. How do they expect you to do a proper drink on that? Anyways, Jay and I had a couple on the plane which soon made me go into dozing mode. There is nothing better than falling asleep on a plane and waking up when you're arriving. Amex had booked us for the Andreola, close Central Station and on our way there I called Claudio and found out that he recently deceased. He was only in his early 40s and I was totally unaware that he been ill. Apparently that was the way he had wanted to keep it and only the ones really close to him had known. Even if me and Claudio never been really close it got to me. Who was I feeling sorry about myself for the Katja thing? I expressed my condolences and hung up.

We arrived to the hotel and took a quick shower before our dinner with Franco. We needed to prepare the strategy for the meeting tomorrow. Jay looked really sharp in her suit. No baseball cap this time. We took a cab to Just Cavalli, a café restaurant conceived by Roberto Cavalli where Franco already was waiting by our table. Cheek kisses and happy greetings. It was a wonderful setting and atmosphere. Everybody was exited about the meeting tomorrow and at 11.30 pm we said goodbye and went back to our respective places…

Milanooooo!

I woke up by the phone ringing. On the sofa, smeary make up, blanket on top. I guess Fifi had felt sorry for me. It was Franco calling me from Milan with great news. Our proposal had found an interest and he wanted us to come down right away before everybody has flown the city in August. I called Jay as soon as I got off the phone. Her girlfriend/ex/whatever answered and I could tell by her voice that she was not happy. I couldn't care less. The matter of the fact is I can't stand the bitch. Jay on the other hand was overjoyed. I told her to pack a bag and meet me at the airport so we could get the first possible plane to Milan. Next call was to Amex platinum service for them to make the necessary arrangements. We were on our way!

Dusk

The food at Josefina didn't apply too me so after a drink we went to Strandbryggan instead. The food was excellent but the state I was in made me focused on the wine instead. Lisa is a very close friend and she knows me too well to be fooled. I drank way to much and in combination with the pills I was popping - that was not a good idea. She suggested that took a cab home and offered to go with me. I declined the company. Needed to be alone. At home I drank some more and listen to The The's Dusk cd until I crashed...

Lost Pride

I called Katja to ask her out for dinner. She had other plans.
"How about tomorrow?"
"I'm sorry but I don't think it's a good idea"
She sounded cold and although I already knew the answer I had to ask her why.
"Because I think you have a serious commitment problem"
I couldn't deny that.
"But I thought we had a good time?"
Need to at least try..
"I thought so too, but I cant see someone that just disappear on me like that"
I said I was sorry and let her go.

Jay had plans to see her girlfriend/ex/whatever so I called Lisa and asked if she wanted to have dinner with me. Made arrangements to meet at Josefina at Djurgården.

Another Day

Woke up and had really bad anxiety. It was especially bad when I thought about the woman from last night. I thought about Katja. Damn.. so typically me to fuck up good things like that.
Jay was feeling better and when I told her about the incident last night she was laughing out load.
"I just cant see you doing anything like that!" She said when I told her about the spanking and name calling bit.
"I know, but I thought it was about time that I tried some new things." I smiled
"So how was it?" Jay has always been keen of knowing the details.
"Terrible. I was really bored during the whole thing"
"So why didn't you just stop"
"I did eventually"
I told her the rest and she couldn't stop laughing.
"I can't wait telling people about this!"
"You can't do that Jay.." I could not believe that I had to bribe her to silence even in a situation like this. She never missed a chance.
"How much will it cost me this time?" I grabbed my checkbook.
"50 beers"
"Ok!"

Later that night when we had dinner she looked at me seriously and said
"Do you know what I think you should do"
"What?"
"Call Katja"
I knew that she was right but I just couldn't get myself to it..
"Maybe another day"

Just Do It!

It turned out that Lisa had nothing to worry about. Her boss's only respond was if he could join them, which of course would never happen. He was luckily unaware of the threat Lisa was to his marriage and that his wife was on the verve of leaving him for another women. What was stopping her? Lisa didn't want her to!
"You have to break up with her!" This was an accident waiting to happen.
"I've tried to but it is not that easy.."
"What do you mean it is not easy.. just f-ing do it!"
"The sex is amazing and.."
Bla, bla, bla... I was tired of people around me getting them selfs in shitty situations and not doing anything about it. Life isn't always easy but you deal with whatever you need to deal with!

Went home only to find Jay and Fifi in the sofa. L Word marathon had turned into a Sex and the City marathon. That means that Jay is feeling better. We've been down this road many times before. They didn't even notice me so I left again and went to a girly bar. I needed a reality escape.. really bad. Went home with a woman in her 30ies that wanted to be dominated. Fitted me perfectly. Went to her place and I used some of the stuff I learned at Lash. Some spanking and name calling. She wanted me to fuck her with a strap on and I did. I was bored before I even started but I figured she liked what I did since she was so loud. Too loud. It was such a turnoff that I had to stop.
"Whats wrong?"
"Nothing, I just lost it.. the feeling.. sorry"
I got up and she started swearing on me telling me to get the fuck out. I couldn't agree more. Turned my phone on and had two messages from Jay. One wondering where I was and the other one asking me if I could bring some chocolate with me home. And maybe also a bottle of coke. I asked the cabdriver to stop at a Seven Eleven. When I came home Jay was still in the sofa and she was very happy to see me. Or it was the chocolate that made her smile. I gave her a hug and told her that everything is gonna be fine. Her eyes watered but she was still smiling.
"Promise?"
"I promise!"